


After Destiny

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Category: Roswell (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4565778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It didn't matter the reasons. It didn't matter that part of her might have understood... if he had asked her what she thought. All that mattered was that he had left... and it hadn't been hard for him to leave her behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Almost Here

**Author's Note:**

> This is an canon divergence story as everything changes from the season one finale. When Liz leaves the pod chamber and the others, the four aliens actually disappear for months. At the end of summer, they return. Some events in seasons two and maybe season three will happen, a lot will not.
> 
> This is mostly going to focus on Maria and Michael.
> 
> Song used in chapter one is _Almost There_ by Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem.

_He had left._

It didn't matter the reasons. It didn't matter that part of her might have understood... if he had asked her what she thought.

All that mattered was that he had left... and it hadn't been hard for him to leave her behind. He said he loved her too much and had been able to throw her away at the drop of a hat.

She wasn't his Destiny. Wasn't special or important enough. She wasn't one of them with amazing powers and a mysterious history.

She was only Maria. Only the flaky and quirky girl that had fallen so hard for him. That loved him... and everything that he was. The one that would have given or risked anything for him.

Oh wait, she _had_ done those things. But he had still walked away from her.

She had done her best to deal and hid her own pain behind the flakiness that was now only a facade. She had changed in the last several months, but she didn't let it show after Michael and the others left. Liz was falling apart and she needed her best friend to keep her as together as she could. She wished she could have at least fixed things for Liz, but there was nothing that could be done to fix what had happened.

_They weren't Destiny. They weren't enough. They were only human._

After awhile, Maria was able to see glimpses of the girl who was her best friend as there were fewer and fewer crying jags. Of course, of the smiles that Liz showed other people, Maria was the only one who noticed they never quite reached her eyes any longer.

Maria seemed to be handling all of it better than Liz -- or even Alex, for that matter. Bouncy, quirky Maria. She was always there with a smile or an idea to perk her two best friends up again as best as she could. No one ever realized that she had broken apart on the inside. She had hid it so well during the months she was helping to take care of Liz.

However, hiding the things you feel from your friends and lying to yourself can only work for so long until something happens to make all of that pain and heartbreak come to the surface.

For Maria, that moment came when she came out of the back of the Crashdown and saw who was sitting at a booth in her area. She felt her hands start to shake as she looked Michael over, making sure he was in one piece. Her eyes moved to see Isabel and Max as well. They were all three there... like nothing had happened.

She tried to keep it all in, she really did try. Better she wait on them than Liz be forced to. Even so, it was hard to make her feet take her those steps to their table. She couldn't look at him or else she would lose control of everything she had held within her. She stared down at the order pad, feeling the heat of the tears that she was fighting.

"What'll it be," she managed to get the words past her lips.

"Maria --"

"Not on the menu, sorry." The sarcastic retort didn't have as much bite as she wanted it to. This was too much. Too hard. For him -- them! -- to be here like nothing had changed when everything had changed.

"Maria," Michael tried again. "Can we --"

She saw a hand come in front of her face and tear the sheet off the order pad. The sheet was balled up and thrown on the table.

"Get out." The cold voice coming from Liz surprised her. "You're not welcome here."

"Liz," Max said in a surprised voice. "We just want --"

"No," she said, her voice still cold as she looked at the three of them. "Get. Out. You can't just come in here and act like nothing ever happened." She placed her hand on Maria's arm. "Come on, Maria. You don't need to take their order since they were just leaving."

Maria lifted her head to look at the three of them at the table. While her eyes recognized how sad they all looked, her brain and her heart just could not accept that they had come back... had come in here. She wasn't aware that her eyes had filled with the tears she had been fighting back for the last few months. It wasn't until she saw Michael's eyes widen and then drop that she realized they had.

"Alex?" Isabel asked softly. Out of all of them, Alex would never have been able to be cold to the three of them. He'd get them all to see reason and they could talk... could explain.

"They don't want you here," Alex said quietly. "Any of you." His eyes were sad as he looked at Isabel for a long moment, but then he turned to Michael and Max. Maria could feel him tense up as he put an arm around her and around Liz. "I think you've done enough, don't you? Get out." Alex swallowed. "Get out before Mr. Parker is told to call the Sheriff."

"Liz, please --" Max was cut off by Michael.

Cut off by Michael who was acutely aware of the girl only a few inches from him that had tears in her eyes and was without her usual snark and sarcasm. "Let's go, Max. This was a bad idea."

"One of your worst ever," Liz continued on in the voice that Maria couldn't believe she was using on Max.

They were to the door before Michael turned to look at Maria. His face was sad when he looked at Liz. "Liz, I'm sorry."

"You didn't look back when you left her before, Michael. You really shouldn't start now."

Maria watched them leave, before she pulled away from Liz and Alex and walked quickly into the back, then ran up the stairs and into Liz's room. Her chest hurt and as she slid down the wall, she could feel the tears starting to flow down her face.

Why? Why had they come back? Hadn't they hurt them all enough? Maria clenched her fists at her sides. Hadn't he hurt _her_ enough?

She heard footsteps come into the room and felt her two best friends sit on the floor on either side of her. Alex pulled her to him and she felt Liz running a hand along her hair.

"Let it out, Maria," Liz said quietly. "Let all of it out. You've spent the last few months holding everything in and trying to keep us together."

"She's right," Alex said, hugging her. "It's our turn to help you get put back together."

So they had noticed what she was doing... and not doing.

"I told Dad you weren't feeling well," Liz said softly. "He said that he could take care of things down there that I could stay and take care of you."

That probably surprised Maria almost as much as everything else had. She loved Mr. Parker, but for him to give both of them the rest of the shift off at the same time? He had to have realized what upset them both so much.

"Why?" she finally managed to ask. "Why did they come back? He already let me realize that I wasn't important enough for him to stay..." It hurt to even say the words.

"You love him like I love Max," Liz said quietly. "But, we have to let it go. We're not enough. We're not one of them. We're not _Destiny_." Her voice was bitter. "We have to move on."

 

It was three nights later that Maria caught her next glimpse of Michael.

She was on the stage, singing with Alex's band. They had started getting hired for more gigs a few weeks after Michael and the others have left. It was just one of many things that had changed for her and for Alex after Michael and the others were gone. Singing had always been her outlet, and it became one of the things that kept her pulled together while she was keeping Liz in one piece. 

The song she was singing was one of those that really tugged at the heartstrings. It was a duet and Maria had let herself get into the song, as she always did during a performance.

" _But when I need you_  
 _You're almost here_  
 _And I know that's_  
 _Not enough_  
 _But when I'm with you_  
 _I'm close to tears_  
 _'Cause you're only almost here..."_

It was a song that struck too close to home for Maria, but it was also one of their most popular songs that always got a reaction from whatever gathering they were playing in front of. Of course, she had never expected that Michael would ever see her singing on stage -- much less _this_ song. So, when she had seen him walk in, she had faltered only slightly.

" _Bruised and battered by your words_  
 _Dazed and shattered now it hurts_  
 _Haven't I always loved you..."_

She tried not to look at Michael as they sang the song and the usual tears from the song slid down her cheeks. However, of their own volition, her eyes always found his in the audience. It wasn't something that she had planned on, but as the song came to the next duet part, she found that she couldn't look away from Michael as she sang the words that she felt so personally.

_"...But when I need you, you're almost here_   
_(Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you)_   
_And when I hold you, you're almost here_   
_(Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)_   
_(Now I'm with you, I'm close to tears_   
_'Cause I know I'm almost here)_   
_Only almost here..."_

After the song was over, the band had a break. Maria walked off the stage... and right into Michael.

"Oh," she said softly, stepping back. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd be here."

"I know," he said, looking at her with that intense gaze of his. "I figured if you knew I was waiting over here, you would find some way to avoid me and go the other way or the rest of your band would come with you."

He was right, she would have avoided him. She would gone back through the curtains and out the alleyway exit to avoid running into him. There was no way she was admitting that. "Is there a reason that I should feel I have to avoid you, Michael?"

"You've been doing a pretty good job of it for the last few days."

She shrugged, trying to keep that facade of indifference in place as she looked at him. "I didn't feel like there was any reason to seek you out, Michael. Not seeking you out is a lot different than avoiding you."

"I'm the expert at avoiding, Maria," he said, his eyes fixed on hers. "So, I know it when I see it, and that's what you've been doing for the last few days."

"What do you want me to say," she asked quietly. "Everything's been said already, don't you think?"

"I just want to talk to you," Michael said, reaching out to touch her cheek.

"Hasn't everything already been said that needs to be said, Michael?" Her indifference turned to tiredness. "I'm not like you. I'm only human. I'm not destiny. I'm not what you want or what you're meant for. I get it. I got it. I don't need it explained to me. I got the message loud and clear, Michael. You don't have to worry about me following you around or trying to get you to give me anything you don't want to give." She swallowed past the lump in her throat and tried to keep her voice steady. "I promise, I won't get in your way."

"Maria," Michael's hand dropped away from her face and he looked down into her eyes. He was feeling a little out of his depth right now, and it wasn't a feeling he enjoyed. Hearing what Maria was saying and hearing how she was saying it made him ache inside. He hadn't thought about how their so-called destiny was going to affect the people that cared about them, the ones closer than they had thought to look.

"I have to go, Michael," Maria said quietly. "We have another set we have to do."

"I'll give you a ride home after you're done."

She so much wanted to step into him and just put her arms around him and hold him to her. His leaving hadn't changed the love she felt for him, but Liz was right. They weren't one of _them_. The things she felt for him couldn't fight that one truth.

"I have my car with me," she said, turning to head to the stage. "Thanks for the offer, though."

"Maria, we need to talk. There are things you need to know."

Maria sighed, lowering her head. "There's nothing more that I need to know, Michael. You made it pretty clear where we fit into in the grand scheme of things. There's nothing left to be said."

She shook her head once more and continued towards the back area of the stage. As hard as it was to do, she walked away without looking back at him. She knew if she looked at him, all of her resolve would crack and she would find herself in his arms... until the next thing that came along that would break her heart because it was more important.

"I need to know one thing," Michael called, not about to just leave.

Maria bit the inside of her cheek and turned reluctantly to look at him. "What, Michael?"

"Are you and Alex...?"

"What?"

"Are you and Alex... together?"

She wanted to laugh but the sound would have torn her in two. _That_ was what was so important to know -- if she was with _Alex_.

"I just... it's not asking a lot for you to answer the question, Maria."

"No," she said quietly, not able to hold that back and let him squirm. "No, Alex and I are not together. He is still my best friend like always and now he happens to be my business partner and one of the guys in the band I sometimes sing duets with. Not that it's any of your business."

She shook her head when he didn't say anything and walked back to the stage.

"Thank you."

The words were so quiet, Maria was sure she imagined them and when she turned to look over her shoulder, she knew she must have because Michael was no longer there.


	2. Pictures of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used in this chapter is _Pictures of You_ by The Cure.

“They’re never going to forgive us, are they, Max?”

The question came from Isabel a week later as she, Max and Michael met up at their old meeting place, the quarry. They hadn’t tried to go back to the Crashdown after Alex told Isabel about Maria’s breakdown and they found out just what the summer had been like for their human friends and loves.

“You’re not the one that they were hurt by or are mad at,” Max said quietly, looking at Michael who had so far not spoken to either of them today. As it had for the past several days, his face was set in an expression of stone and only his eyes let them know that he was listening to everything that was said. “You could probably go see them anytime that you want and they wouldn’t kick you out.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” she murmured, surprised that she had been rejected by the two human girls and surprised that it hurt. “I am the sister of the boys that broke their hearts.”

“I left thinking that Liz understood what we needed to do and that she had accepted it,” Max said, looking down at the ground. “I mean, she was the one who walked away from me that day.”

“It’s not like she thought she had a whole lot of choice,” Isabel sighed. “With us talking about our destinies and what was said.”

“And Tess.”

“And Tess.”

Tess who had turned out to be more of a problem than the three of them had ever thought she would be. After all, she had been one of them – part of their heritage and their family on Antar. 

“We should have known,” Michael finally spoke, not looking at either one of his siblings. “We should have known better. Tess came with an agenda from the very beginning and because of what she represented we were stupid and betrayed the ones who had accepted us and helped us from the beginning.”

“It wasn’t easy…”

“No, but we made it look easy, didn’t we?” Michael demanded. “Or at least, I made it look easy.”

“She’ll come around, Michael,” Isabel tried to reassure him and herself. “She loves you, still. You didn’t see her when she first noticed us at the Crashdown. The first thing she did was look you over very carefully to make sure that you weren’t hurt.”

“And then she broke down,” Michael said bitterly. “Do you know how our last parting went? She asked me why it was so easy for me to throw her away. The hardest thing I ever did was break up with her and she thought it was easy for me to do it. And then we left for months.”

“We came back,” Isabel said almost desperately. “We came back for them.”

“They don’t know that,” Max sighed. “They don’t that we came back for them. They think that we only came back because we didn’t find what we were looking for.”

“We went about it all wrong,” Isabel said, throwing a rock into the quarry and watching until it disappeared. “Alex said he understood that I had to do what I was doing alone, but I don’t think he realized what an effect it would have on all six of us while we three were disappeared to wherever.”

“They didn’t even know if were still alive and safe,” Max agreed. “We were so focused on what we thought we had to do, we didn’t stop to think about what we _needed_ to do or should have done.”

“Should have, could have, would have,” Michael cursed, bursting to his feet and using his power to send a shower of rocks into the water at the bottom of the quarry. “We need to be _doing_ and not sitting out here moping, Maxwell.”

“What do you suggest we do, Michael? Kidnap them and hold them hostage until they lis—no. No, Michael. Do not even consider that.” Max had gotten to his feet when he saw the look in Michael’s eyes change at his words. “We can’t do that! It would be an even bigger breach of trust than what we have already done to them – not to mention what Valenti would be forced to do to us even though he’s an ally, now!”

“Do you want them to listen to us or not?”

“Yes, but not at the cost of their trust or scaring them!” Max shouted at him. “We’ll find a better way to talk to them. We are not adding extra trauma to them.”

“After that first day Maria didn’t cry for the rest of the summer,” Michael stunned Max and Isabel as he dropped that bit of information.

“How do you know that?” Isabel wanted to know. “Alex didn’t say anything.”

“Kyle told me.”

Two sets of eyes widened. 

“You sought out Kyle on your own? I thought you didn’t like him.”

“I didn’t, but Maria and Liz trust him. He’s not as close to them as they are to Alex, but they’ve gotten to be close friends since we all left.” He sighed, turning away from them. “Maria didn’t cry again until she saw me that day we came back. She spent those months burying everything and focusing on taking care of Liz.” Max winced, but Michael couldn’t see that. “Alex called him after we left the Crashdown and he went to Liz’s place – where Liz and Alex were trying to comfort Maria. Apparently, seeing me caused something within her to break and she finally started crying like everyone else already.” He swung back around to look at Max. “Do you have any idea how it feels to be told that merely seeing you reduced someone you love to hysteria?”

“You can’t kidnap her, Michael,” Isabel said softly. “Look, I know this is hard, but we’ll find a way. Maria _loves_ you. Her reaction only proves that.” She sighed, looking at Max and then at Michael again. “We knew that coming back was going to be hard – for all of us – but we made the decision to come back to them. Are you saying now that you’ve changed your mind?”

“No,” Michael mumbled. “No, I want to get her back, I just didn’t know…”

“That it would be so hard or hurt so much?”

“She’d always forgiven me for things before. I didn’t think…”

“None of us really though this through,” Max admitted. “We thought we’d go off and find answers and come back and everything would be the same. It wasn’t fair of us not to take into account their feelings and how they must have felt to be left behind. I thought that because Liz walked away…”

“She got to make a choice, but I never gave Maria that choice. I just turned away and she was left behind.” Michael lifted up some more rocks and sent them scattering across the quarry with his hands this time.

They had no answers and they had very little understanding on what to do now.

Michael just wanted Maria to talk to him. Surprisingly, she always managed to help calm him down and help him find a little bit of clarity.

Clarity which he so desperately needed right about now.

No.

What he needed was _Maria_.

He just had to figure out how to not only win her back, but also get her to believe just how important she was to him.

Kidnapping was still an option.

It had worked once before, after all.

 

 

In her bedroom, Maria ran her fingers gently over the strings of the guitar that was balanced across her lap on her bed. Alex had been teaching her to play the guitar to accompany some of her music and she had been happy to find that she seemed to take to it pretty well.

It also helped, during times like this, to have it in her lap to strum while she thought out loud – or thought in music. 

Right now, she had songs by _The Cure_ moving through her head on repeat as she kept thinking about Michael and how he looked the night he found her where the band was playing. He didn’t look calm and self-assured like he usually tried to be. He also looked honestly worried when he asked her if she and Alex were together.

Maybe she should have lied, made him think that she had moved on when he left her. Maybe most girls would have done that, but she wasn’t most girls. Just because he had hurt her, it didn’t mean that she wanted to hurt him back. No matter how torn up she felt inside, hurting him wasn’t going to make her feel any better about anything that had happened.

 

_I've been looking so long at these pictures of you_  
_That I almost believe that they're real_  
_I've been living so long with my pictures of you_  
_That I almost believe that the pictures are_  
_All I can feel_

 

Maria brought her guitar up to her chest and started singing one of the songs in her head without even really thinking about it. _The Cure_ was very good go to music when you were depressed or hurting and Maria was definitely hurting.

The few pictures that she had of Michael had all been gathered together and put in a small shoebox in the bottom of her closet – along with any other souvenir or keepsake she had collected during the course of their relationship. It had just hurt too much to see them when she was trying to stay strong by focusing on taking care of Liz.

She couldn’t be strong and have photographs on display of the guy who had broken her heart more than she had ever believed possible.

 

_Remembering_  
_You standing quiet in the rain_  
_As I ran to your heart to be near_  
_And we kissed as the sky fell in_  
_Holding you close_

 

Maria remembered very clearly the night a wounded Michael had sought her out. He could have gone anywhere, but he had come to her. She’d brought him inside and dried him off. When she saw his tears that had been hidden by the rain, she did the only thing she could have done.

She tucked him into her bed and held him all night, offering what comfort that she could. She told him that he didn’t have to tell her what was wrong and she never asked that night. She was just glad that he had come to her and she could do something to help him.

Then, later, he had sat in jail because he didn’t want to tell Valenti that he had spent the night with her and couldn’t have had anything to do with whatever had happened.

She couldn’t have loved him more for his protectiveness than she did in that series of moments.

 

_If only I'd thought of the right words_  
_I could have held on to your heart_  
_If only I'd thought of the right words_  
_I wouldn't be breaking apart_  
_All my pictures of you_

 

If there was one thing that she wouldn’t… couldn’t do… it would be destroying any of the mementoes she had of Michael. Destroying them would be the same thing as destroying memories and that was something that she didn’t want to do. She was hurting, yes, but she didn’t want to forget any of the time that she had spent with her Spaceboy. Whether he had truly loved her or not, she had deeply loved him and still did.

She probably always would. 

A love that bowled you over and wiped you out like hers for Michael had could never be something that would fade or be forgotten.

 

_There was nothing in the world_  
_That I ever wanted more_  
_Than to feel you deep in my heart_  
_There was nothing in the world_  
_That I ever wanted more_  
_Than to never feel the breaking apart_  
_All my pictures of you_

 

As her voice broke on the last sentence of the song, Maria folded herself over her guitar and let the tears come. They rolled freely down her face and there was no one to see or try to comfort her.

That was only partly true…

Outside of her window, hidden so that he wouldn’t scare her, Michael had been watching her and listening to her sing. Even without an audience and a band behind her, she was amazing and he wanted to be able to tell her that.

He wanted to tell her so many things.

When she broke down and started crying, he bowed his head, hating that he had caused her so much pain. Was it any wonder that she kept avoiding him when all he did was tear out her heart? 

He watched her until she fell asleep and then he left her home to seek out his own.

Except, he knew now. He shut the door to his apartment and looked around it with a sigh.

Home wasn’t a place. It was a person.


End file.
